The Power of Vulnerability by Brene Brown

This 20 minute video is a WONDERFUL lecture by an amazing woman. She talks about the importance of whole heartedness and vulnerability. This is totally worth a listen. Watch it with a loved one. Watch it with someone you want to be more vulnerable with. She explains why we numb and how it affects us, how we try to make uncertain things certain, and how we try to perfect everything in our lives, even when it's things that are fine the way they are. I learned so much from this video and have watched it several times....

The Heart of Humanity: Sitting with our Sadness

Sorry it's been so long since I posted! I need to use this blog more, both to share information AND as a tool to help me structure myself around this important work.

My Daily Om today speaks again to the Heart of Humanity and sitting with our sadness....

December 28, 2010
The Heart Of Humanity
Sitting With Our Sadness

When we are dealing with sadness it is important to really sit with it and have to courage to do so.

The last thing most of us want to hear or think about when we are dealing with profound feelings of sadness is that deep learning can be found in this place. In the midst of our pain, we often feel picked on by life, or overwhelmed by the enormity of some loss, or simply too exhausted to try and examine the situation. We may feel far too disappointed and angry to look for anything resembling a bright side to our suffering. Still, somewhere in our hearts, we know that we will eventually emerge from the depths into the light of greater awareness. Remembering this truth, no matter how elusive it seems, can help.

The other thing we often would rather not hear when we are dealing with intense sadness is that the only way out of it is through it. Sitting with our sadness takes the courage to believe that we can bear the pain and the faith that we will come out the other side. With courage, we can allow ourselves to cycle through the grieving process with full inner permission to experience it. This is a powerful teaching that sadness has to offer us the ability to surrender and the acceptance of change go hand in hand.

Another teaching of sadness is compassion for others who are in pain, because it is only in feeling our own pain that we can really understand and allow for someone else's. Sadness is something we all go through, and we all learn from it and are deepened by its presence in our lives. While our own individual experiences of sadness carry with them unique lessons, the implications of what we learn are universal. The wisdom we gain from going through the process of feeling loss, heartbreak, or deep disappointment gives us access to the heart of humanity.

Embracing Grief Because Grief is Important

THis was my "Daily OM" that I received on my birthday. Somtime's they're spot on. I hope it touches you the way it has touched me.



August 19, 2010
Embracing Grief
Grief is Important

Giving ourselves permission to be with sadness actually creates space for us to begin the healing process.

Change is something that happens each and every moment in our lives. Since nothing is constant, it may sometimes seem as if we are losing something whenever things do change. Understanding that this is part of our daily existence and that there will not only be gains but also losses in our lives can help us more readily accept and deal with whatever happens.

Whenever we lose something or somebody we love, it is important for us to take time out for ourselves and truly feel the weight of what we are experiencing. Although it may seem that doing so will push us into a deeper state of sadness, truly giving ourselves permission to be with whatever arises actually creates space for us to begin the healing process. This is because the act of grieving is a natural process, allowing us to sort through the range of emotions that are present in our everyday existence. Even though it may sometimes seem easier to involve ourselves in activities that take our minds off of our sadness, this will only make the route to healing more difficult. Unless we listen to where we are in the moment, the emotions we experience will only grow in intensity, and our feelings will manifest themselves in more powerful and less comfortable ways. Once we consciously acknowledge that these emotions are present, however, we are more able to soothe the sorrow of t! he moment. In so doing, we become more open to our natural ability to heal ourselves.

Grieving doesn’t have to be a process that keeps us rooted in our thoughts of fear and sadness. For the moment we might feel despondent, but by expressing and coping with our true feelings, we face the sadness head-on. When we allow ourselves to accept and deal with our loss fully, we will then be able to continue our life’s journey with a much more positive and accepting outlook. This will make it easier for us to see that our grief is ephemeral and, just like our moments of happiness, it will also come to pass.

Good Grief and stopping the medicalization of grief

There's a great op-ed in the NYTimes called Good Grief about the importance and the normalcy of the grieving process. Check it out!

Back in Black, Again...

Good Mourning Broken Hearts Club Band,

I'm finally getting back to this blog and feel I need to start using it regularly! I haven't been too active in the studio. About 5 weeks ago, one of my housemates, Sil, died of a heart attack. He was 78 and had been diagnosed with heart failure earlier in the month, but he was still active and had traveled to visit his kids when it happened. It was unexpected but not shocking. We all miss him a lot as he was a wise and fabulous man. Here's a link to a great video montage of images of Sil taken a few years ago, with him reading a poem he wrote in the background. It's called "Running, Running, Running"

Somehow I THOUGHT I would throw myself into my work and make mourning jewelry as a way to process the grief buttons that this pushed. That hasn't happened and I've had a tough time focusing in the studio. I'm finally feeling the call (and the money pressures) to get my self in gear and get busy again. I've been dabbling in jet and metal minerals, as there's lots of alchemy going on there for me personally.

A little note of serendipity from the universe is also prompting me to jump back into the jet grind. This is my Real Astrology Horoscope by Rob Brezny for this week..."LEO: No one knew there was coal in the United States until 1790. A hunter who was wandering near Pennsylvania's Broad Mountain stumbled upon it accidentally when his campfire lit up an outcropping of pure anthracite. That discovery was both a blessing and a curse; since then, the mining of coal has yielded abundant energy but also environmental degradation. I predict a metaphorically similar event for you in the coming days, Leo. You will inadvertently find a potentially enormous source of valuable fuel that will, like coal, present you with both rich opportunities and knotty dilemmas." So I figure the best metaphorically similar event for me to find my enormous source of valuable fuel is to get busy with the fossil fuel jewels that I'm already working with and find my abundance there! I've been on this lignite black strewn path for several years now. There are several ways I can travel this path and I'll keep ya posted.

Here's some new work in Tennessee jet...The bottom heart, with the rough faces and rounded edges, is not drilled as a bead, but is meant to be a meditation stone to hold in the hand or put on an altar. Thanks for reading and looking!

The heart shape continues to be full of so much metaphor for me. I got news recently that my brother's mitral valve has torn and gone from just a regular old leaky valve (like mine) to a SERIOUSLY leaky valve. They're monitoring it but he'll need surgery some day in the not so distant future. In the meantime, it certainly gives my heart pause. My late father had a mechanical valve put in his heart and the manufacturer recalled it 4 years after he died! Thus, I'm back to the old grind...I continue on my heart worn ways. I just did another series of my gemstone jet, contemporary mourning beads in my "broken heart" series. The rough is all from Tennessee and all have 3mm drill holes so they can be worn on a thick chain or a cord...and I took this one heart and made a "keyhole" through the center and a 2mm drill hole that goes down the cleft into the keyhole. I envision some beader or jeweler making a necklace chain that would come up out of the cleft and 24 inches or so later connect with the key. The key fits ALL the way through the keyhole, so that it could dangle through the jet heart, creating a centerpiece clasp. Would that be what they call a "y necklace"? They key is from an old key collection that my late grandmother kept. One of these days I'll get off the grinding wheels and the computer long enough to make finished jewelry, in the meantime, I just continue making these goodies for all you beader and jewelery peoples out there....

I also made this nearly 700 carat "green" moonstone heart stone out of a single big chunk of rough moonstone from Tanzania. It's got an amazing, lightning like, schiller that is unrelated to the light blue adulaurescence that is the hallmark of classic moonstone. When I saw the piece of rough I knew I would make a "broken heart" out of it and leave the natural points with the cleavage planes of the feldspar crystal poking out the bottom. This is NOT A BEAD, but is a really fabu meditation aide or shamanic tool for scrying and healing work. That's it for now. I'll certainly be making more hearts and I would LOVE to see what kind of hearts others are making! Share your pics or your links.

Change Your Focus

Good Mourning Broken Hearts Club Band!

Many exciting things are happening with our Band! I'm thrilled to announce that MEMBERSHIP CARDS have arrived and are being dispersed! If you would like a membership card just request one and if you would like to recruit for the BHCBand, request a bunch! More on Membership cards later...

TODAY I will share with you the Daily OM Leo Horoscope, which is about our goals, our hearts, and ambitions...

March 2, 2009
Change Your Focus
Leo Daily Horoscope

You could notice a single-minded focus regarding your ambitions today. It might seem that accomplishing your goals rather than addressing the concerns of others is your most immediate priority. Perhaps today you can think about redirecting your go-getter energy to develop deeper, more long-lasting, and compassionate goals. One way to utilize your focus could be to create a greater awareness of the power of your heart center through meditation. You might consider bringing your attention to the area near your heart. As you inhale and exhale, send your awareness into this area and feel it expand with each breath. Concentrate on being present in the moment, and try to let the notion of reaching a final outcome dissolve with each breath. As you feel your heart opening, you may find that attaining your goals becomes less important then the journey you take to accomplish them.

By altering the nature of our focus, we become more open and have greater tools for reaching our goals. We might find it easy to become so involved in our goals that we forsake things that are most important—the lessons we learn along the way. But when we allow our determination to soften, we create space for a greater awareness of ourselves and the world around us and transform the way we live our lives. We engage in the progress of life and are not simply wrapped up in its outcomes. Placing your focus on your heart center today will allow you to work toward the goal of being present in your life.

I will be posting lots more regularly, so join the band, follow the blog, and let's get this show on the road (from a loving heart space, and letting go of our ego, of course!)!

Always,

Leo Sunshine